55 posts tagged with "Absurdity"

When Lao Li received the notice, he was munching on half a cold bun. The notice was simple, two words: "Paste couplets." He didn't pay much attention to it, after all, subway stations put up Spring Festival couplets every year before the Spring Festival, it was a routine. He put down the bun, picked up his toolbox, inside lay a brand new bucket of paste and a brush. Lao Li was a veteran employee of Shenzhen Metro, he could paste couplets with his eyes closed.

But when he arrived at the warehouse and saw the pile of snow-white paper rolls, he was stunned. What kind of Spring Festival couplets were these? These were clearly rolls of white paper! He opened one roll, it was covered in dense black Song typeface, it read like an obituary, or a tasteless instruction manual. He rubbed his eyes, confirming that he wasn't mistaken, these weren't red paper with black characters, but white paper with black characters, and they were pre-printed. He found the warehouse manager, who pushed up his glasses and said in a mechanical tone: "According to the higher-ups, this year's Spring Festival couplets will all use this."

Old Wang was laid off, or rather, "optimized." He walked in the winter wind, carrying a cardboard box printed with the company logo, like a leek uprooted from the soil.

Xiaoya's fingertips were adorned with ten silver snakes, their scales reflecting an ominous light under the lamplight. This was not some avant-garde fashion statement, but a carefully crafted "snake-year fortune-attracting manicure" she had spent a full two thousand yuan on. In this era where everyone believes in metaphysics, everyone in the office had become a Feng Shui master, and Xiaoya was no exception. She felt that these cold, gleaming silver snakes would surely bring her a wealth of fortune, or at the very least, stop her proposals from being utterly trashed by her supervisor.

"One minute left!" a sugary female voice echoed through the office from the speakers, like a death knell. Zhang Qiang looked up at the digital clock on the wall, 12:00, precise to the second.

This was the company's newly implemented "midday relaxation" session, touted as being for the health and well-being of the employees. Every day at noon, all employees had to put aside their work and participate in a "beneficial to mind and body" activity. Today's activity was "one minute of silence."

Every morning, the first thing Lao Zhang did upon waking up was to put on his huge VR glasses. Not for entertainment, but for work. His workstation wasn't in an office, but in a virtual space composed of countless pixels. He was an employee of a "cloud office" company, responsible for "optimizing user experience." Specifically, this meant walking through an infinitely looping maze, collecting randomly appearing virtual coins.

"It's maze version 17.0 today," he muttered to the empty room, his eyes fixed on the pixelated wall in front of him. His character, a short, plump pixel man in a gray suit, looked a little comical. But Lao Zhang had gotten used to it, even finding it more real than his actual self.

Old Li Tou was a temporary worker at the zoo. His daily job involved driving his beat-up van back and forth between the city center and the wildlife rescue station in the suburbs. One day, he received an urgent notice stating that a wild panda was "parading" on the highway, wiggling its butt while running, which was seriously disrupting traffic.

Old Li Tou mumbled to himself, "Is this panda drunk or something?" He had been driving for half his life, and he had seen all sorts of strange animals. But one that dances on the highway was definitely a first. When he arrived on scene, sure enough, there was a crowd of people pointing at a black and white furball, and the panda was wiggling its butt with a good sense of rhythm. It took Old Li Tou a great deal of effort to get the "dancing king" into his van.

Old Wang has been troubled recently. Not because of the year-end bonus, nor the performance evaluation, but because his "color" is not pure enough.

He is a middle-level manager at a large internet company, wearing a suit and tie every day, entering and exiting high-end office buildings, looking glamorous on the surface. But Old Wang always feels that there is still some "impurity" left on him, like a white shirt that hasn't been washed clean, with a few yellowish-gray patches, especially noticeable under the light.

Hugo liked counting steps, not for health, but to complete his weekly "activity" goals. He was a French naval soldier stationed on a "Triomphant" class nuclear submarine. The interior of the submarine was cramped. Except for his shifts, he spent most of his time lying in bed. The only times he moved was to the cafeteria or the bathroom. Therefore, his daily steps usually hovered around 100.

Of course, this number was too embarrassing. Hugo felt that even underwater, he needed to maintain a good "active" image. He downloaded a step-counting app specifically designed for "cheating." This app could simulate realistic movement data based on preset routes and step frequencies. As a result, his phone would display thousands of steps of "glorious achievements" every day.

The cold wind howled, and police dog Fu Zai shook off his wet fur, his ears drooping like two withered leaves battered by rain. Today was the day the team was handing out year-end bonuses, and also the day his bonus was deducted.

Fu Zai was an excellent police dog, at least in the first two years after he joined the force. He had a keen sense of smell, fast pursuit speed, precise biting skills, and had assisted in solving many cases, earning him numerous awards. However, in the past year, Fu Zai had changed, becoming full of "office vibes."

Old Wang was known as a "rule-abiding person" in his community. He followed all the rules, always has. A new rule was posted in the community, stating that when walking in the community, one must walk on the white tiles; otherwise, a fine would be imposed.